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So far Zjamal Xanitha has created 5 blog entries.
27 04, 2021

Living On Loving You

By |2021-04-27T06:12:27+00:00April 27th, 2021|Categories: Psychotherapy and Counselling|

Living on Loving You

A One Day Grief and Loss Support Program

It has been a year since my mother passed away. My heart and my mind are often with her. With the absence of her presence that I feel with every breath. With all the care that I still long to give her that somehow has nowhere to go. And with the unknown mystery of death that despite its closeness still escapes my understanding.

After I heard the news, I sat still for a while, and then I stepped outside. My garden and the trees were quiet and earthy fragrant. Darkness had fallen and the stars were arcing across the sky. I remembered how different cultures have images of Goddesses who reach across the heavens. Being sky-hearted felt right. I felt broken open, in a vast cloud moving kind of way.

So many words I still long to say to her, and so many more I wish I could have stayed still long enough to hear from her. My yearning to call her or go see her will never leave me.

In the beginning, despite knowing in my mind she was gone, I couldn’t quite get that she was no longer here. It takes time to thaw from the shock of it. It takes gratitude to soften into the legacy of what your loved one left behind in you. It takes tender commitment to transfer the pain into stories of remembering.

Your process of grief will

1 10, 2019

From Survival Responses to Relief

By |2019-11-01T05:32:07+00:00October 1st, 2019|Categories: Trauma Recovery|

Do you think your nervous system has become dysregulated?

Do you feel too much, or too little?

Notice yourself zoning out or getting panicky frequently?

Our nervous system is an amazingly sensitive radar, continually tuning in to see if we are being received, scanning to see if we are safe. When we are with others, particularly those we care about, our nervous system is constantly reading them to find out if they are with us. It has an amazing ability to pick up the tiniest data and to respond, resonate, adapt or react. This process has been part of human nature and communication since the beginning. These very instincts are what enabled people to survive and evolve as a species.

The dangers we encounter nowadays are of a very different nature. But they do happen. When you go through an experience that you feel you can barely manage, where your safety is threatened, physically or psychologically, your nervous system is primed to protect you. When we have to endure a traumatising event, our nervous system will do whatever it takes to get you through. And if you are reading this, it did it for you. That is its mandate. But perhaps at some cost to you. Most of us don’t know how to recognise and release this primal energy. Because most of us don’t have an off button for our nervous system responses, we can remain easily triggered.

Unfinished Defence Responses

Afterwards, it can be as if

1 10, 2019

Play, Spontaneity and Experimenting

By |2019-11-01T01:27:24+00:00October 1st, 2019|Categories: Self Care|

We are continually making meaning of our world. Humans are internally self-organising and self-realising organisms. In particular pertinent poetic ways. Each of us is a unique voice for the world.

The vividness of our personal images

In his beautiful book, Free Play, Stephen Nachmanovich discusses the sacredness of play, the importance of making mistakes and the art of improvisation, imagination and intuition.

Malcolm Parlett discusses the paradox that in our current education system and dominant paradigm culture spontaneity no longer comes naturally to us. We value the well-considered response. And so now bizarrely, we need to cultivate the oxymoron of spontaneity training. The art of spontaneity. Cultivate deeply sensed embodied responses that feel congruent, authentic and true.


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